Notes From A Thoughtful Husband

[Brianwarnock]

>>must... keep... mouth .... shut.... <<

You are too kind, I would have thought an opportunity for both barrels

Brian

 

[Rich]

>>must... keep... mouth .... shut.... <<

well that's a first

 

[Rich]

You are too kind, I would have thought an opportunity for both barrels

Brian

I'd like to be given the opportunity for two barrels too

 

[ColinEssex]

I'd like to be given the opportunity for two barrels too

Two barrels of scrumpy please

Sorry Rich, I'm not making light of your situation - on a serious note, can you fix up some movement sensor to flash a light in the house or something?

Col

 

[FoFa]

Hang on Rich in a minute you will say that you are going to get a gun

Not a case for a gun, Really big dog, yes, gun, no.

 

[KenHigg]

well that's a first

I'm trying to give my opinion only when I'm ask on certain topics... I realize it's a fault I have but I am working on it...

(Hum... wonder what the range was... Would Rich have been better with a sawed-off shotgun?!?... )

 

[Len Boorman]

Problem is that whatever you do to protect your property it must not harm somebody attempting to noick it......so

What is needed is something that will blow prospective nicker to extremely small bits undetectable by forensics ...... quietly


Any body got ideas
L

 

[Rich]

Problem is that whatever you do to protect your property it must not harm somebody attempting to noick it......so

L

Yeah, as long as the perpetrators human rights are protected eh.
It's a damn good job our glorious leader is going to get tough on criminals

 

[Len Boorman]

An inebriated crook had a little problem and ended up at the police station.
“Couldn’t you get that crook to confess to the crime?” asked the police chief.
“We tried everything, Sir. We browbeat and badgered him wit every question we could think of.”
“How did he respond?
He just dozed off and said now and then: “Yes, Dear. You are perfectly right.”




Blair....get tough...... like he did with the EU

Do not spoil the thread with such fairy tales

L

 

[ColinEssex]

Problem is that whatever you do to protect your property it must not harm somebody attempting to noick it......L

Can you not use "reasonable force" now?

Like an 8" Bowie knife in the femoral artery of the leg?

Col

 

[Rich]

Can you not use "reasonable force" now?

Like an 8" Bowie knife in the femoral artery of the leg?

Col

I’m not sure whether to get a wife or a rottweiler, which is best?

 

[ColinEssex]

I’m not sure whether to get a wife or a rottweiler, which is best?

Get a dog

hmmm, on the other hand a rottweiler would be useful

Col

 

[Len Boorman]

Get a dog

Col

were you referring to anyone in particular

L

 

[supercharge]

Ultimate solution to all this "craps":
Hmm......................................don't get married!!!!!

 

[Len Boorman]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they
were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can
have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy
Land, for $150."


The man thought about it and said he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home,
when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"



The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days
later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

 

[Len Boorman]

A man and his ever-nagging wife went on vacation to Jerusalem. While they
were there, the wife passed away. The undertaker told the husband, "You can
have her shipped home for $5,000, or you can bury her here, in the Holy
Land, for $150."


The man thought about it and said he would just have her shipped home.

The undertaker asked, "Why would you spend $5,000 to ship your wife home,
when it would be wonderful to be buried here and you would spend only $150?"



The man replied, "Long ago a man died here, was buried here, and three days
later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

 

[MrsGorilla]

I’m not sure whether to get a wife or a rottweiler, which is best?

I think a rottweiler would suit you better and would be more forgiving to your (ahem) faults.

Besides, rotties are good dogs. I love my Boxer though and he's sufficiently scary looking enough to scare people away from our back yard, even though he's just a big baby. He's great with Emily too. I will say that now that he's 2 years old, he is starting to get more protective of us and the house/yard.

 

[Rich]

and would be more forgiving to your (ahem) faults.

I don't have any

 

[Rich]

Hmm......................................don't get married!!!!!

I see there are at least a couple of us here who are sensible

 

[selenau837]

Whew that was a long, wild, fictional, non-fictional, biased, non-biased, sexist, non-sexist, criminal thread I had read in a while.

I made me smile seeing how all you guys got along splendidly. Not many insults were thrown; heck even Rich was pretty well behaved.

Here is a few do's and don'ts:
If her hair looks good DO say it looks nice.
If it looks bad, DO NOT say you like it because she knows it looks bad, and will get mad at you for lying to her.

If you happen to notice she has on a new outfit and she shows it off to you, comment on it, and say 'you must have gotten a great deal on that. She does probably agree because she used HER money to buy it.
If you happen to notice a new outfit and she DOESN'T show it off, don't comment on it. She probably spent way too much of YOUR money. Let it rest, it isn't worth the fight. She'll keep it anyways, and you'll be on the couch.

Do ask for a night of wild passionate lovemaking.
DO NOT, say 'Honey it is that time of the month for you to do your wifely duty. That is probably why you only get it once a month.

Do call her at work and say 'Honey, what would you like me to cook you for dinner?'
Don't call her at work and say 'Honey, what are you going to cook for dinner tonight?'

Do get per some perfume that she requested, or the nice sales lady helped you pick out.
Don't buy her perfume that you smelled on a stripper that gave you a lap dance the other night, just because you liked it.


Those are just a few that I find would be helpful.