Notes From A Thoughtful Husband

[Rich]

were you referring to anyone in particular

L

 

[Rich]

A Bite here or there can be fun,

Depends on whether she keeps her teeth in

 

[Hayley Baxter]

Dear Husband,

I am sending you this letter via this BBS communications thing, so that you will be sure to read it. Please forgive the deception, but I thought you should know what has been going on at home since your computer entered our lives TWO YEARS AGO. The children are doing well. Tommy is seven now and is a bright, handsome boy. He has developed quite an interest in the arts. He drew a family portrait for a school project, all the figures were good, and the back of your head is very realistic. You should be very proud of him.

Little Jennifer turned three in September. She looks a lot like you did at that age. She is an attractive child and quite smart. She still remembers that you spent the whole afternoon with us on her birthday. What a grand day for Jenny, despite the fact that it was stormy and the electricity was out.

I am doing well. I went blonde about a year ago, and discovered that it really is more fun! George, I mean, Mr. Wilson the department head, has uh, taken an interest in my career and has become a good friend to us all.

I discovered that the household chores are much easier since I realized that you didn't mind being vacuumed but that feather dusting made you sneeze. The house is in good shape. I had the living room painted last spring; I'm sure you noticed it. I made sure that the painters cut holes in the drop sheet so you wouldn't be disturbed.

Well, my dear, I must be going. Uncle George, uh, Mr. Wilson, I mean, is taking us all on a ski trip and there is packing to do. I have hired a housekeeper to take care of things while we are away, she'll keep things in order, fill your coffee cup and bring your meals to your desk, just the way you like it. I hope you and the computer will have a lovely time while we are gone. Tommy, Jenny and I will think of you often. Try to remember us while your disks are booting.

Love,

Your Wife

 

[Brianwarnock]

That was brilliant Hay

Brian

 

[KenHigg]

That was brilliant Hay

Brian

ditto -

 

[selenau837]

I loved that!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[KenHigg]

Here's a new trick I learned yesterday; Cupcake and I were in the driveway as we both got home about the same time and she mentioned the grass needed cutting... I acknowledged it and the said, 'Is that the phone I hear ringing?'...

She ran inside and forgot about the grass...


(For a while anyway )

 

[selenau837]

Here's a new trick I learned yesterday; Cupcake and I were in the driveway as we both got home about the same time and she mentioned the grass needed cutting... I acknowledged it and the said, 'Is that the phone I hear ringing?'...

She ran inside and forgot about the grass...


(For a while anyway )

You are so lucky she doesn't read these forums. Hmmm, perhaps this could wind up in the mail box. Teehee!!!

BTW, that is a good distraction, I suppose us women could do that when it is time to cook dinner.

Ken -- So honey, what are you cooking for dinner?

Cupcake -- Smiles, acknowledges and then says 'Hey, is that a deer I hear rustling the leaves outside?'

Ken--Grabs gun and runs out side.

Cupcake -- Laughs, so I got out of dinner again for the nyte.

 

[KenHigg]

You are so lucky she doesn't read these forums. Hmmm, perhaps this could wind up in the mail box. Teehee!!!

BTW, that is a good distraction, I suppose us women could do that when it is time to cook dinner.

Ken -- So honey, what are you cooking for dinner?

Cupcake -- Smiles, acknowledges and then says 'Hey, is that a deer I hear rustling the leaves outside?'

Ken--Grabs gun and runs out side.

Cupcake -- Laughs, so I got out of dinner again for the nyte.

Hum.... You are a devious one...

 

[selenau837]

Hum.... You are a devious one...

I'll take that as a compliment!!

 

[KenHigg]

Of course I need to keep a mental note not to use the phone gig for a while as she may catch on... Perhaps I'll save it for emergencies like the yard work...

So I have phone as number 1. Wonder what else would be good...

Maybe, look is that Brad Pitt on tv? or Who is that guy jogging down the street...

 

[selenau837]

Of course I need to keep a mental note not to use the phone gig for a while as she may catch on... Perhaps I'll save it for emergencies like the yard work...

So I have phone as number 1. Wonder what else would be good...

Maybe, look is that Brad Pitt on tv? or Who is that guy jogging down the street...

Now Kenny boy, why would cupcake want to look at Brad Pitt or that jogging guy when she has a stud like you at home.

You may need to think of something else.

 

[KenHigg]

Now Kenny boy, why would cupcake want to look at Brad Pitt or that jogging guy when she has a stud like you at home.

You may need to think of something else.

You're trying to undermine my plan by being a sweetie, aren't you...

 

[selenau837]

You're trying to undermine my plan by being a sweetie, aren't you...

*bats eyes* Now, why would I want to do that. I'm just trying to be ever so helpful.

 

[ColinEssex]

Of course I need to keep a mental note not to use the phone gig for a while as she may catch on...

As Cupcake is a normal female, she will not be caught out again. if you wait 20 years and do it, she will still say "you go on and get the mower out, I'll get the phone - last time [20 years ago] you didn't cut the grass"

Col

 

[KenHigg]

*bats eyes* Now, why would I want to do that. I'm just trying to be ever so helpful.

(Must resist, must resist... Never look directly at a female when she bats her eyes, Must resist... )

(Where is Col & Rich when I need them... )

Edit - Whew... Thought I was doomed... (Note: Strike phone from list...)

 

[ColinEssex]

(Must resist, must resist... Never look directly at a female when she bats her eyes, Must resist... )

(Where is Col & Rich when I need them... )

Its ok Ken - just mention shoes or shopping and their attention will be drawn away

Col

 

[KenHigg]

Its ok Ken - just mention shoes or shopping and their attention will be drawn away

Col

Hum... Good ones. I was thinking about mentioning dinner out as well...

 

[selenau837]

Its ok Ken - just mention shoes or shopping and their attention will be drawn away

Col

That is if she is a ditzy woman. Us intelligent women will not fall for that so easily. I dare say cupcake would not fall prey to that tatic.

Now on the other hand, mention a new program, or get me distracted with talk about coding, access etc, then you'll distract me for a little while.


*bats eyes sweetly* Now kenny, why are you looking all around except for my eyes.

 

[ColinEssex]

Hum... Good ones. I was thinking about mentioning dinner out as well...

ooooohhhhhhh no - not good, that means spending loads of money - women never pay - its one of the "womens equality" things they conveniently forget

Plus you'll wait hours while she gets ready, then you'll be late, then you'll row alot because you mentioned about having 2 mins to drive 20 miles for the meal and she's in a huff because you were pacing up and down waiting.

Then you'll get the silent treatment. . . . . . . .[Ken] "Whats wrong Cupcake?". . . [Cupcake] "WELL - IF YOU DON'T KNOW.......I'M NOT GOING TO TELL YOU!"

Col